Do you equate vulnerability with victimization? If so, you’re in good company. Vulnerability is often confused with weakness. We learn, often from an early age, that we need to protect ourselves, so we do not become vulnerable to others. But vulnerability is the first step toward wholeness and transformation.
It’s true, the dictionary definition of vulnerability is about exposure to attack or harm. When we are in a state of constant protection, however, we don’t let anything in – even the good stuff! We don’t admit that we need help, that our problems are bigger than us, or that we have piled on so many layers of armor nothing can get through, not even love.
Taking off the mask.
The first step of the 12 Step Program is to admit powerlessness over alcohol. This acceptance of vulnerability must be the first step because without admitting there’s a problem there can be no support, no help. This statement removes the mask of power, control, excuses, and destructive behaviors that are hiding behind the armor.
Maybe you think that because you don’t have an addiction to alcohol or drugs, you don’t need to admit vulnerability. The truth is that we all have addictions – to money, status, popularity, self-improvement, shopping, politics, and even religion. Addictions compensate for what we don’t want to expose to the world. We wear masks to cover our vulnerability.
When we take off our mask, we allow others to see us as we are. All our beauty and all our shadow are displayed. We are vulnerable and open. The masks we wear hide us from possibilities and from learning to trust God, other people, and our inner authority.
Is your mask cemented on?
If you’re like me, you received messages during childhood that cemented your mask to your soul. I learned the world is unsafe, so a mask would protect me. My shadow self is bad, so I hide it. What I think and do is shameful. I am shameful. Deny it. Every negative message minimized my true Self and added a layer of guilt and shame. It took decades to remove those masks. It’s brutal work, but it’s possible.
When I removed my masks, I learned to trust my inner authority. I also realized that there was no real danger, only freedom. And when I take off my mask, others often find the courage to do the same. Even if someone doesn’t respect my true self, I am not in any real danger.
So It Flows is a safe space to remove your mask and trust your inner authority. Book here for a 30-minute conversation to learn how to experience freedom.