The Camino de Santiago, or The Way, is a pilgrimage path across Spain to Santiago de Compostela in northwestern Spain. There are several different paths, but the French Way, which begins in St. Jean Pied de Port in France, is a typical starting place for many peregrinos (pilgrims).

A Difficult Start

My husband and started our journey St. Jean Pied de Port on May 15. This first segment is 18 miles, through a mountain pass with no services after the first five miles. The weather on the mountain was chilly and fluctuated between sun, rain, fog, wind, light snow, and ice pellets. With no cell phone service to monitor weather, we trusted we were safe and where we needed to be. The end of the segment is a small town with three lodgings for peregrinos and little else. I was puzzled about why this very difficult mountain pass is a traditional first-day hike. It was on the third day when I realized why this segment is the first day: 1) you are clueless as to how difficult this is going to be, and 2) adrenaline. If this segment was on the third day, I would have called a taxi instead of doing the hard work.

I was very impatient with my husband on the way up the mountain because I had to frequently stop and wait for him. But with that first step down the mountain, I nearly cried with pain. There was a problem with my knee I didn’t know about before that day. It took me three times as long to go down the mountain than it did going up. It was then my husband’s turn to wait for me.

The Real Journey

The phrase “It’s all downhill from here,” struck me with terror for the next several days. I was slow, graceless, and in pain. It was humiliating to have everyone pass me so effortlessly. If a taxi could have gotten to me, I would have called one. Getting to my destination, finishing, was my only desire. I mentally checked off those segments of the trail from my bucket list and vowed never to walk that way again.

After the second day I broke down and bought knee braces at a pharmacy and began a steady diet of ibuprofen. I also used my inner vision, my spiritual self, to learn how to heal my knees. As I searched inside myself, I suddenly understood why I had been strengthening my glutes in the months prior. When I climbed hills, I used my quadriceps and at the end of the day they were tired and weak. My leg muscles could not support and protect my knees on the descents. The glutes were the muscles I needed to use going uphill. I began to sit back during climbs to engage my glutes and within two days I no longer needed the braces.

Bypassing

On the first stage of the pilgrimage, it did not go as I expected. I wanted a guarantee that it was safe and that I was prepared for anything. Struggle and pain were not welcome. Quick, easy, and impressive were my hopes. My ego hurt and I really wanted to quit.

Spiritual bypassing, going around instead of through the mess, was a major temptation. I fantasized about calling a taxi to get to the end more quickly. My mantra on the first day was “Gain and Maintain!” Emptiness, struggle, and humiliation quickly wiped out the gain. Also, there is no practical way I can walk at least 14 miles daily to maintain that level of physicality. My mantra and my goals were unrealistic and there was no way to wish them into being.

What I learned along the journey was very different from what I assumed would be a confident, painless daily walk. Instead, on many days it took everything I had just to keep moving forward, step-by-step. The community of peregrinos, particularly on the first part of The Way provided companionship and encouragement. It was a spiritual interconnection that put us each into a network of something much bigger than ourselves. I learned to be more patient with myself and others, and to move out of the way when I held things up. And I am grateful that I stuck it out, learned from my mistakes, and trusted that I would complete my journey.

The Destination

When we reached Santiago de Compostela, it was, honestly, anti-climactic. It was thrilling to finish this portion of my journey. I am happy that I walked nearly 200 miles. My only real physical injuries were blisters and sore feet. But I also know that the real journey was internal, and Santiago was not the ultimate destination. This pilgrimage was just a stage, preparation for something new, maybe something bigger. Now it is time to celebrate, and to rest. The new paths are already showing themselves and soon it will be time to take more steps. I’m even willing to walk this same path again.

Full disclosure, we did take a taxi for a short way on a daily segment that was over 20 miles long. It was a physical challenge that we were not up to after nearly two weeks of walking. There is no shame or judgement about using transportation to get through some days. Sometimes it is necessary for our health. On that day I had good energy and considered trying to walk the entire distance. The other times I fantasized about a taxi I was trying to give up. I wasn’t trusting the journey and I wanted a spiritual bypass.

Taking a journey and finding your Way is often filled with fears, insecurity, and a need to be in control. The benefits to the soul, however, are always transformational. Going on a spiritual journey will change your life. Whatever form your journey takes, an experienced companion can guide and encourage you. A companion may be the difference between completing your journey or taking the taxi of spiritual bypass. Book a session with a Certified Spiritual Director today.