This article is about healing spiritual trauma that may be subtle and denied for years. This is not about healing psychological issues, significant traumatic events, or post-traumatic stress disorder. If you are overwhelmed, or want to hurt yourself or others, please seek medical attention immediately.
Wanting to avoid pain is natural.
How much of your life have you spent trying to avoid painful situations? Most people put significant energy into avoiding pain. We look for quick fixes and easy ways out. We suppress our trauma because we think it’s easier to ignore it than work through it. Often, we blame someone else for hurting us, and maybe even try to get that person to fix it for us.
“But if we do not transform our pain, we transmit it.” ~Fr. Richard Rohr
A tragic Story.
As I prepared this article, I learned a tragic story from a nearby town. An older man shot seven neighbors, four of them children, then turned the gun on himself. Neighbors said this man hated everyone, and perhaps especially his immigrant neighbors. We may never know the trauma this man endured, whether it was genetic trauma he inherited, or trauma he personally experienced. But it is clear, this man hated himself as much as he thought he hated others. This is an example of pain shockingly transmitted.
Please note, I share this only as an example of extreme hurt. I am not suggesting that this was a situation that could have been addressed with spiritual healing.
Addressing pain is transformational.
I know you don’t want to hear this, but pain is the most transformational force in our lives. That is, if we work through it and heal it. When we understand that our life is about learning, we can begin to step outside our pain and trauma and look upon it as something we can use for growth. Yes, it’s difficult to think about trauma as a blessing in our life, and few people progress to that level of acceptance. But if we can detach from the pain, even years later, we may observe a personal strength that grew from resolving our trauma.
Pain that is pushed down or ignored also transforms us, but in a way that damages us, and others in our lives. The people in our lives who hurt us are usually hurting themselves. They act out their own trauma on others, because they were never able to heal. They treat others as they were treated, often believing that the abuse or “tough love” they received is how people love each other. Because, in an extremely warped way, abusers convince themselves that hurt and violence are a form of love. It’s heartbreaking, but many parents abuse their children because they believe it’s a sign of love. And spouses abuse their partner because they witnessed that behavior in their own parents’ lives.
Healing requires acknowledgement.
The first step toward healing is acknowledging the pain is present. We cannot heal what we deny is present. Spiritual Direction, Biospiritual Focusing, Shamanism, Akashic Records, and Reiki are all paths toward healing spiritual trauma. There is someone who can accompany you on your healing journey. If one path does not resonate with you, try a different option.
Practicing forgiveness is also transformational. Forgiving someone who hurt you is a gift to yourself, and it promotes healing. When we hang onto grudges, it only deepens our pain. Forgiving is NOT forgetting. Setting boundaries so we don’t experience additional pain is critical for healing. Forgiveness allows us to release the pain, understand that the pain we experienced was caused by someone who was hurting, and a determination not to pass our pain on to others.
Healing is a lifelong process.
Healing comes in layers, so we are never finished with the job of healing. It becomes easier over time, even when the layers of pain we encounter become deeper. When we suppress our pain – and we all suppressed our wounds early in life – we may be surprised about the painful “new” memories that appear. Deeper wounds present themselves as we are ready to heal them. The healing process lasts a lifetime.
Only you can heal your wounds. But support on your healing journey can be a huge help. Give yourself the gift of healing by engaging with a compassionate Spiritual Director, shaman, or other spiritual practitioner. Start your healing journey here.
