Someone asked me this question recently. Well, what they really asked was if I trusted them. Either way, the question was intended to influence my reaction. This person asked me for loyalty, to keep secret, and not report them for breaking rules. This person wanted me to ignore my inner compass and look the other way.
We are told to trust people in positions of authority, the military, our family, and close friends. In fact, trust is often a condition of continuing a relationship. In the US, even our money boldly states “in God we trust.” I hazard a guess that most people do not routinely consider this sentiment each time they make a purchase. If we did, we’d be handing a lot more dollars to random people on the street.
Often trust is the hook we use to reel in someone who might think or act independently from our own best interests.
Yes! You can trust me!
Of course, we want to be trusted and to enjoy the perks that come with a trusted position. When asked if you are trustworthy, your immediate response is likely an emphatic “Yes! You can trust me!” However, I encourage you to pause a moment and consider why someone asks this question.
A question of trust is almost always an attempt to influence your actions. What we typically call “trust” is about how much control one person has over someone else’s actions. The question, “Can I trust you,” is a request for loyalty, and a promise to react in specific way.
When this person asked me about trust, I replied that it is not my responsibility to trust them. My responsibility is to trust myself, remain transparent in my actions, and act with integrity. It was a clear message that I would not be manipulated.
Trust yourself first.
Real trust is about knowing and listening to yourself. Your True self and your higher power never mislead you. On the contrary, it’s your ego, your small self, that leads you astray. Our egos love to cajole and control God through beautiful prayers and good works. We “trust” when God answers our prayers in the way we want. The ego practices a closed-fisted trust, grabbing onto what feels good. But real trust is an open hand, allowing whatever happens. It is knowing we are not in control and yet, all is well. Even when relationships end, or situations change, you have your integrity.
“To have faith is to trust yourself to the water. When you swim you don’t grab hold of the water, because if you do you will sink and drown. Instead, you relax, and float.” ~Alan Wilson Watts
Open your hands and trust.
Here’s a little practice to increase trust.
Sit comfortably and take three deep breaths. Exhale forcefully and relax your body.
Rest both hands lightly in your lap or next to you.
Clench each fist tightly and hold for five seconds.
Slowly release your fists, say, “I release all control. I trust myself to know what’s right for me. I trust that all will be well.”
Now focus on your open hands. Feel energy flowing through your hands. Imagine the energy flowing out of your body to surround you. Picture yourself floating down a gentle stream with your arms outstretched, your hands open and receiving, surrounded in love.
Repeat this process until your hands and body remain relaxed.
Support for the Inner Journey
Our inner journey is difficult, so someone to encourage and witness our growth is a blessing. Spiritual Direction, Akashic Records, or shamanism are all valid paths for building trust. Continue your journey to your True self here.
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One Response
Another great reflection, thanks! I especially liked: In the US, even our money boldly states “in God we trust.” I hazard a guess that most people do not routinely consider this sentiment each time they make a purchase. If we did, we’d be handing a lot more dollars to random people on the street.